Miscellaneous musings from the perspective of a lefty (both senses) atheist with a warped sense of humor.

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Location: Madison, WI, United States

I am a geek, but I do have some redeeming social skills. I love other people's dogs, cats, and kids. Snow sucks, but I'm willing to put up with it just to live in Madison.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Russell's Rules of House Buying

Russell's Rules of House Buying
recycled from 2005 Jan. 28 but for some reason I was thinking of them again today

The Rules

(1) Never buy a house on a corner lot.
(2) Get a lot that's narrow but deep.
(3) Make sure the house is close to the main sidewalk and has an attached garage.
(4) Choose the north side of the street.
(5) The lot to the west should have a big deciduous tree in its front yard.
(6) The lot to the east should have a fire hydrant.
(7) Blacktop driveway is good.

The Reasons

(1) (A) Twice as much sidewalk to shovel.
     (B) Twice as much cost for curb, gutter, and sidewalk assessments.
     (C) No back yard. (2 side yards, but that's not the same.)
     (D) Twice as much traffic.
     (E) When you get a car crash on your corner, they'll track bloody footprints on your carpeting on the way to use your phone.
(2) Less public sidewalk to shovel but same size back yard.
(3) (A) Less private sidewalk and driveway to shovel.
     (B) Gets the car off the street so it doesn't get plowed in.
     (C) You can walk into the house without having to face the weather.
(4) It's sunnier and melts the snow faster.
(5) Note the "deciduous". In the winter, when the branches are bare, the sun shines thru. But in the summertime, when it's in full leaf, you don't get the hot afternoon sun. You don't have a tree on your own lawn so you don't have to rake.
(6) (A) If your house catches fire, you want one close.
     (B) If your nabor's house catches fire, you don't want the firefighters camped out on your front lawn.
(7) Black absorbs the sun's rays and helps melt snow and ice.


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