Miscellaneous musings from the perspective of a lefty (both senses) atheist with a warped sense of humor.

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Location: Madison, WI, United States

I am a geek, but I do have some redeeming social skills. I love other people's dogs, cats, and kids. Snow sucks, but I'm willing to put up with it just to live in Madison.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Fishy Evolution

Fishy Evolution

Found this on the web:

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Watching My Country Become a Christian Theocracy

While traveling recently in my home "Red State" of Virginia, I was confronted by yet another sign of rising religious extremism in America. It was the "Jesus Fish", those stick-on symbols of sectarianism signifying ardent devotion to Christianity. It struck me that they are reproducing at an alarming rate.

My traveling realization was triggered by a group manifestation swimming on the rear end of a particularly vulgar Cadillac SUV. It was a literal school of them, five in all, a veritable nuclear unit; a father, mother, and three babies, neatly schooled and swimming in triumphant religiosity.

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Richard comments:

It started with the ultrasimple notional fish -- 2 intersecting arcs, nothing more -- that early Xians used as a secret symbol to indicate their meeting places. And it served the same purpose on the back of modern automobiles: a quiet sign, decipherable by others of like mind (just as "One Day at a Time" or "I'm a Friend of Bill" is to alcoholics) but not likely to draw undue attention from those not in the know.

Then some clever person decided to put a couple of little feet on it to symbolize a fish walking out onto dry land, a significant milestone during the long history of evolution.

The Xians saw this, realized that (a) their cover was blown and (b) the "other side" was using its bumpers as a PR tool to reach out to the undecided. They struck back by putting the word "Jesus" inside their own fish symbols.

"Good idea", thot the heretics, and put the word "Darwin" inside theirs.

Outraged that a mere mortal like Charles Darwin had been thus placed on a co-equal plane with their beloved Son of God, the Xians started a parallel stream of fish using the word "Truth" instead of "Jesus".

"Oooh," said the evolutionists, "variation within a species. Neat!" and came up with a footed fish holding a wrench, symbolizing tool use.

Even more outraged at the pro-science crowd taking credit for human progress (however justified it might have been), the Xians yust went nuts and trotted out their big guns: mindless violence and mindless reproduction. The latest piscatory additions to their genus include a big, shark-like "Truth" fish devouring a smaller "Darwin" fish, plus the "school o'fish" family, proudly illustrating their breeding prowess.

The evolutionists have yet to respond, but I'm sure something is in the works.

The irony of this situation is that it perfectly illustrates Darwinism: variation within a species, competition between species, gradual change over time, adaptation to a changing environment, survival of the fittest, natural selection of the most effective specimens, and the value of outbreeding the competition.

D'ya think the fundies would be proud to know what a good example they're setting? Nah, let's not spoil the fun by telling them.

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Fundamentalists feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms but have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.


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